Disaster Recovery

Credits : The Tall Man

Rain and heavy winds hammered down on Manhattan, lateSaturday night. After a hurried game of squash at the Columbia University gym, the three roommates tried to brave the storm under two umbrellas to get back home.The umbrellas were sleazy, bought for a dollar each ata Pakistani store in Harlem. The fellows were soakedby the time they scampered home. The time was 10:45 PMand the night was getting cold.


"I'll make the dinner tonight! You guys can rest today", announced Beefcake. The roommates sat quiet,faking sudden interest in what was being shown on thetelevision. Beefcake prepares Basundi and Kulfi regularly with great enthusiasm. These delicacies prepared by Beefcake using MTR solutions, are guaranteed fail-proof and produce mouth-watering results. Beefcake's confidence in cooking, thus increased tremendously over the past several months,although he seldom ventured into the art of sophisticated culinary.

Nevertheless, the Tall pitched in, "What do you want to prepare?". Thinking for a while, Beefcake offered,"Paneer Butter Masala". And then, they all enjoyed a hearty laugh. The Tall soon composed himself andadvised - "Paneer Butter Masala is not an easy dish.Great cooks have shamed themselves attempting to makethe perfect Butter Masala. And moreover, it's already1 AM in the night, so prepare something fast".

The Googler and the Tall suggest Jeera rice, but Beefcake didn't even bother listening. He fired a search for Indian dishes on the Internet and looked at the first website that showed up. It said "Potato Dal". Beefcake began his work in the kitchen, with occasional shouts - "What do I do next?"; "How long to fry the freakin onions?" and so on. Then came a more serious question - "What is moong dal?". The Google roffered assistance and identified moong dal for the cook.

"How much dal should I put, Googler?" There was onlyabout 2 cups of moong dal in the house."Put all of it, and don't forget to add twice thatvolume of water".The moong dal started cooking. Soon, the cooker beganspewing out steam.

The rubber lining for the cooker was busted, and not all roommates knew that. Sighting the angry cooker, Beefcake rushed to the living roomand blurted, "When should I switch off the cooker? Howwill I know that the dal is cooked?". Not thinking,the Tall replied - "Wait for four whistles and switchit off". The Blogger, who was trying to get the cricket match running on the computer, pointed out,"The cooker won't whistle. Switch it off if the steam is escaping"."Okay", and Beefcake rushed back to the kitchen.

Therest of the roommates began watching the cricket matchthat the Blogger had finally managed to run.'BOOM!', came an explosive sound from the kitchen.Blogger suspected something, but having settled himself on the floor, he didn't bother sending himselffor aid. The Tall and the Googler rushed to thekitchen, presuming that the cooker had dropped down onthe floor. They found Beefcake holding the cooker lidin his right hand and cooker fallen on its side on thecooking range, with very little dal left in it. Most of the cooked cereal laid strewn on the kitchen top,the floor, on the trash cans and also on the vacuum cleaner and the fridge. Not forgetting to mention -the kitchen ceiling. The cooker lid was very hard to open. So, I put allmy might and yanked it open', offered Beefcake. 'Why the hell did you open it?', questioned the Tall. 'You guys told me to switch it off after 15 seconds.You never told me not to open it after that.''For heaven's sake, it's a "pressure cooker!"'
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The cleaning ritual took over 30 minutes. The Googlerand the Beefcake climbed upon the kitchen top andwiped the ceiling clean. The Tall wiped the dal offthe floor and also off the vacuum cleaner. "This isvery embarrassing", kept muttering the Beefcake. TheLong-Haired came into the kitchen to get a glass ofwater. "Nice", he commented.The Beefcake, did not lose enthusiasm. "We WILL have anice dinner tonight", said he. There was no moong dalleft in the house. The Tall mixed the remaining moongin the cooker with some raw 'toor dal', and fired the stove again.

With one eye on the cooker, the Tallswitched off as soon as steam started escaping. Afterwaiting for 10 minutes, Beefcake enquired - "Is thewait enough? Shall I open it?". "No, lets wait for atleast another 10 minutes", replied the Tall. "Sure...so anyway, thank god I didn't attempt the paneerbutter masala", sighed Beefcake.Interesting, the potato dal turned out to be quite delicious at the end.

Either that, or our tastebudshave gone frail. But all in all, potato dal was prettygood with parata.Before the rescue operations happened, two correspondents took pictures of the disaster site,including the invaluable pictures of dal on the ceiling'. These pictures have been attached, and arestrictly confidential (owing to the embarrassing nature of the incident). Please refrain from circulating the evidences. Thank you!